For Sale: One Red Planet by Jeff Hewitt is the story of ECD Trimmond and his continued attempts to get rid of the real-estate burden that is Mars, passed down to him from his forefathers and the interested parties that pester him along the way.
SMALL PLANET FOR SALE IN SOL SYSTEM! RED! HISTORICAL! NO EXTERMINATIONS
Trimmond is stuck with a red planet and he has no idea what to do with it. It’s too historically valuable to scrap, nobody wants to colonize it and terraforming is on its way out. Not to mention the tribe of indigenous natives that live in this place, refugees from a galactic war, who have made the world their home and might have trouble with the extermination clauses in the contract.
Perhaps trimmond shouldn’t have tried far-future Craigslist for this…
“Anti-speciesist is codeword for anti-human, Mr. Trimmond…”
Apparently I have developed a taste for those email-exchange format stories. Maybe don’tevenreply.com finally got to me or I just have a sick fascination with the idea of watching a story unfold in the closest thing I can come to real-time. Might be that I also like seeing the only reasonable person in the exchange struggling to fend off the jackass-du-jour.
For Sale: Red Planet is a very fun read that made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, delivering a series of funny exchanges in rapid succession but above all, kept in mind that the future will be just as problematic as our present.
The punchline was a punch to the jaw, too.
Technical Details- Review:
- 3500 words
- Wonderful Earthside view!
- By Jeff Hewitt, author of Quantum Fairy tales! Contact him here!
- Light-hearted sociopolitical satire!
- Included in Third FlatIron’s Redshifted Mars Anthology, along with a number of other great stories!
Konstantine Paradias is a Greek science fiction and fantasy writer. He has a blog, called Shapescapes (shapescapes). He’s also hard at work writing a book about Mongols in Zastavas, tearing through Asia all the way to your back yard. He has been offered a chance to know the moment of his demise, which he described as ‘hillarious’.
For comments or plain old contact, you can find him at firstname.lastname@example.org